A Marriage

I married my son this past weekend. 

Let me rephrase that. I served as the officiant on Sunday when my son Billy married Daneen, the love of his life. (This is a real picture, with me in the middle, by the amazing Jillian McQuerrey of www.bombsoverbettyphoto.com).

There are few times in our lives when we focus more on our entire family than when two people join together in marriage. It was the greatest honor of my life (not to mention one of the biggest shocks) when Billy and Daneen asked me to officially join two very special people from two very close families in the presence of the most special people in all of our lives. 

I attended Catholic school from kindergarten through college. In the early years of grade school we were periodically encouraged to consider “the vocation.” I still consider myself very religious, but that was never a call that I was likely to heed. In contrast with the eight years or more of rigorous study that is required to become an ordained Catholic priest, the process for becoming a legally recognized officiant is accomplished at … um … Internet speed and with a total lack of scrutiny (which I appreciated in this case). 

Daneen and Billy both come from traditions of long, strong, and happy marriages. Daneen’s maternal grandparents were married for 72 years. Billy’s paternal grandparent – my parents – were married for 54 years.  

I knew there would be at least one actual pastor in the crowd (of course he ended up with a seat in the second row, just behind my wife, precisely in my line of vision), and I took my role in their union very seriously, albeit, with some occasions of humor and light irreverence. 

Daneen and Billy met on a golf course. They are both exceptional golfers and are honeymooning at a golf resort. I wanted to work a lesson from golf into my talk, hopefully without stumbling into blasphemy, 

After touching on the 10 Commandments and the most memorable message from the Sermon on the Mount (“Do unto others as you would have them do to you”), I ended with a series of reminders tied to rule #4, the least sacrilegious of “Golf Digest’s 10 Rules for Good Golf Etiquette” 

Rule #4 is: “Repair the ground you played on.” I added:

… Fix all your divots. 

… Rake every sand trap. 

… Wash the dishes. Make the bed. Brush your teeth after every meal. (It helps to know that Daneen is a dentist). 

… Don’t ever hesitate to say you’re sorry. 

… Admit when you are wrong. 

… Do not always feel you have to tell your partner when they are wrong. 

… Most important, do what you know you should do to make it right. 

It was a truly wondrous day, and I was proud to serve in this unlikely role.